


Freaky Saturday

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Body Swap, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-20
Updated: 2010-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:59:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3502559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking the Tributeklok switch one step further:  Toki and Skwisgaar wake up in the wrong bodies, yes kind of like Freaky Friday. (<i>How</i> this happened will not be explained.)  And they have a show that night...<br/>Hopefully you won’t get <i>too</i> confused.<br/>Warnings: fat chicks, GMILFS, and masturbating with the wrong penis</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freaky Saturday

Toki woke up feeling confused. The light was all wrong, everything was too bright.  
He quickly realized that he was in Skwisgaar’s room, in Skwisgaar’s _bed_. Oh shit, how drunk were they last night? His only hope was to get out of there before his bedmate woke up.  
He rolled carefully to check, and was greeted by a hugely fat (and thankfully asleep) woman.  
Why was he in bed with her, and were the fuck was Skwisgaar?!

Toki pushed himself up, and was distracted by a lock of blond hair that fell in his face. Blond?! What did they do, dye his hair and throw him in bed with this... woman?  
But it was more then just the hair, something was really wrong. Toki dragged himself out of the bed and staggered unsteadily into the bathroom, needing to look in the mirror but afraid of what he might see.

He took a deep breath and looked. Oh shit, he was Skwisgaar! What the hell?! Did this mean that Skwisgaar had his body, or had they all switched around somehow? That woman... Skwisgaar probably fucked her before this... _whatever_ happened. Eeew. That made him want to shower, but that could wait. He needed to know what had happened to his body.  
And until he knew what was going on, he’d better try to act like Skwisgaar. 

Dressed in Skwisgaar’s clothes, which wasn’t too weird since he’d worn them in Thunderhorse, Toki headed for his own room. If he’d woken up in Skwisgaar’s bed, his body (and whoever was in it) should be in his own bed.  
And it was. There was no other way to find out, so Toki shook his body gently. “Hey, wakes up.” Whoa, he even had Skwisgaar’s voice. That was weird.

Skwisgaar woke up and stared into his own face. In the next instant, he realized that he was in Toki’s room, in Toki’s bed. And in Toki?! He looked at his hands... these weren’t _his_ hands. “What de fucks ams goings on?”  
“Is that you in theres, Skwisgaar? I wakes up like this, I’s really confused.”  
“Toki? What happens?”  
“I has no idea. Gets up, we need to finds out if it’s just us or everybodies.”

Skwisgaar dressed in Toki’s clothes, he didn’t like it but he too had done it before. Together they went out to find the rest of their band.  
They were all watching TV, and _seemed_ normal enough. But what if they were just pretending? Toki decided to just ask. “So did anythings weird happen last nights?” Their accents were close enough that the others shouldn’t notice any difference.  
“Uh, no?” Nathan left it at that and Murderface just shrugged, but Pickles looked at them closely.  
“Ya guys seem a bit weird taday. Ya better git over it before tonight’s show.”

In their freaked out state, they’d completely forgotten the show later. ‘Toki’ turned to ‘Skwisgaar’ in a panic. “You has gots to be giving me solos now, you gots to!”  
Toki saw his chance, and smiled. “No ways, the solos are all mines!”  
Skwisgaar couldn’t make a scene in front of the others, for some reason he too wanted to hide what had happened to them. He grabbed Toki’s arm. “Comes wit me, we has to be talkings about dis.”

They ended up in the studio. “Toki, you can’ts play them, you ams not goods enough! You has to be letting me. But heys, everybody will tinks you gots to plays dem, rights?”  
“Noes, I’s going to plays them. I _can_ does it, you just never lets me!”  
Skwisgaar couldn’t see a way out of it, he started pacing. “I needs sex, it calms me downs.”  
“Skwisgaar, don’ts you be screwing sluts with my body!” Toki did _not_ want his dick in some of the people Skwisgaar fucked. Actually... most of them.

“Fucks you, I ams not letting a little problem like beings traps in yous body ruins mine sex life.”  
“Oh yeah?” A plan was forming in Toki’s mind. “I can plays that game too!” He turned with an evil smile and walked out.  
Skwisgaar tried not to be worried. He had such broad taste in women that nobody Toki picked would really be objectionable to him. He checked the video feed for the front gate, and called for a selected woman to be sent in.

Toki went in search of someone who would suit his needs. A Klokateer just down the hall looked promising. Large, muscular, no distinctive tattoos... but he also needed to be handsome. “Heys, takes off yous hood.”  
“Yes, my lord.” The man removed his hood, and Toki studied his features. Young, but not too young, and hair long enough in the back to cover his brand. Yes, he would do. “Comes with me.”  
In the ‘things that were forgotten room’, Toki found a t-shirt that looked big enough. “Puts this on.” He gave the rest of his instructions.

They headed back to the main room, where ‘Toki’ was sitting next to a GMILF. He looked up in surprise.  
Nathan looked at them in confusion. “Uh, Skwisgaar? That’s a man.”  
“Ja, I knows.”  
The man grabbed ‘Skwisgaar’s’ butt. “Come on Baby, let’s put a cock in that ass.”  
Toki managed not to flinch and smiled, allowing the man to lead him from the room.   
Pickles was very confused. “What the hell, Toki’s pickin’ up old ladies and Skwisgaar’s fuckin’ a _guy_?!”

As soon as they were out of sight and hearing, Toki stopped. “Gets out of here. Puts yous uniform backs on, and if you tells anybody abouts this I has you killed.”  
“Yes, my lord.” The man hurried off to obey. He was used to Dethklok being a bit strange, but this was weird even for them. Why did Skwisgaar want Toki to think he was sleeping with a man? At least he hadn’t been ordered to actually preform the deed...

Toki went back to Skwisgaar’s room. Hopefully that little prank would worry Skwisgaar enough to keep him from screwing old ladies. He turned on Skwisgaar’s laptop and did a search for a gay porn website. Choosing a video that was pretty long, he hit play. In case anybody was listening at the door, now it really sounded authentic.   
Then he put on some headphones and started practicing the solos. He was pretty sure he could play them, but since he’d never been given the chance...  
Skwisgaar’s long fingers did seem to play them easier than his own, that wasn’t fair.

Skwisgaar had left the groupie in his (Toki’s) room, and crept to his own door. He pressed his ear to the wood, straining to hear anything. It was a heavy door, but he could hear the faint yet unmistakable sounds of sex. Oh fuck, Toki would go _that_ far to torment him? Actually let that man fuck Skwisgaar’s body?  
Feeling sick, he ran back to ‘his’ room. He wrapped his arms around his GMILF, and she patted him comfortingly. She’d never heard of Toki going for the older ladies, so it made sense that he would be a bit unsure about it.

****

Toki was reasonably confident that he could play the solos, he’d gone over them all several times. He decided to take a shower, since he hadn’t bothered to earlier. He’d been putting it off, the thought of washing Skwisgaar’s body was just really strange. He didn’t want to admit, even to himself, that he was curious.   
Fuck it, Skwisgaar would never know. He stripped and got in the shower.

It was weird, the body under his hands was not his own, yet he felt every touch as if it was. Skwisgaar’s legendary cock didn’t look all that special to him, but maybe it grew an unexpected amount? Fuck, he really had no choice. He always jacked off before a show, and this was the only body he had to do it with. Closing his eyes, he gave it an experimental stroke and felt it respond.  
The fact that he was touching Skwisgaar’s cock gave him a strange feeling, one he couldn’t really identify.

While the sensations were his own, the hand was not. This is what it would feel like if Skwisgaar was touching him...  
Toki did his best to push those thoughts out of his head, a simple act of masturbation shouldn’t feel so many levels of strange. Don’t pay attention to the differences in the hand, ignore the slightly unfamiliar shape of the cock... just keep going.  
They were actually very close in size, so that one was easier to ignore. So much for the rumors of Skwisgaar being hung like a horse. Stop thinking about Skwisgaar...

****

Toki didn’t know it, but his plan had worked. Skwisgaar had been too upset to actually fuck his GMILF, and had eventually sent her away. But he was still horny, and needed _something_ to help him calm down. He wasn’t all that worried about touching Toki’s dick, he considered the body his while he was in it. That would have to do. He checked the night stand, the most common place ever for lube storage, and wasn’t disappointed. He was however a bit disturbed by the bright green dildo that also inhabited the drawer.

Should he try it? Obviously Toki used it, or it wouldn’t be right there with the lube. And besides, Toki had done something far worse to _his_ body...  
No, he couldn’t do it, didn’t want to. Revenge wasn’t motivation enough to shove something up his ass. He grabbed the lube and settled back to masturbate, a bit disappointed to discover that Toki was about the same size that he was. 

****

Toki woke up in his own bed.   
He’d taken a nap after his shower, was everything back to normal now? He was in his own body again. But that meant he wouldn’t get to play the solos!  
After another quick shower, (he had no idea what Skwisgaar might have done to his body), he went to find Skwisgaar. Since his room was where he’d gone to sleep, that was where he should still be.   
And he was. “Skwisgaar, wakes the fuck up.”

Skwisgaar opened his eyes. “Oh heys, I ams me agains!. He frowned. “Toki, mine ass hurts.”  
Toki, knowing damn well that nothing had happened and that it was purely psychological, couldn’t resist. “Oh ja? He was pretty bigs.”  
Skwisgaar gave a pitiful whimper and curled up, closing his eyes tightly.  
Toki just wasn’t heartless enough to keep up the charade. “Stops that, you big baby, nothing happens. I just tells him to says that stuff, then puts on a pornos.”

“Reallies?”  
“Reallies. But what’s you does with _my_ body? Tells me that!”  
Skwisgaar actually managed to look innocent. “Nothings! Well, I jacks off, but dat doesn’t counts.”  
“You dids?”  
“Pfft, don’ts be trying to tells me you didn’ts check out mine equipment.” Toki hoped he wasn’t blushing as hard as it felt like. Skwisgaar smirked. “Ja, dat ams what I thoughts.”  
“Well, what else was I’s supposed to do?! I don’t likes the kinds of goils you fuck!”  
“Oh calms down, I don’ts care. We ams even, ja?”

Toki didn’t want to talk about that anymore, he still felt all weird about it. “Can I still plays the solos? I practices them real hards today!”  
“No Toki, de solos ams mine.” Skwisgaar got up and headed out to join the others. Toki followed, still arguing. “Just gives me _one_?”  
“No! Stops buggings me abouts it!” He sat on the couch.  
Pickles studied them a moment, then finished his drink. “Eh, back ta normal.”


End file.
